La! La! La!

family x-mas portrait?

This is a very important image, because it consists of 5 adults and 4 species of animals, 5 if you include the humans involved. I have always considered myself a good photographer but I would never consider doing it professionally, simply because I do not like to take posed pictures. I am moody and like to take unique pictures, but a friend asked me to take a family picture of with her animals for a Christmas card, I was reluctant at first simply because I do not really have professional equipment and because I really can't get into it when I have to rely on posing but, I agreed and this is the end result it looks simple but this picture is a miracle. I had it in my mind that I was going to take a family picture, you know,husband, wife a horse and a dog, but when they picked me up and I shared the back seat with a cat, a rabbit and a very phsycotic little dog; I was quickly thinking how, in the world was I going to get them all to sit still for even 1 nanosecond to take get a respecting family picture worthy of representing the Christmas spirit? I started to sweat which led to hypothermic conditions; not fun. We got to the farm where the horse was housed, and I met my friend's daughter, son, son in-law, and two other dogs, I immidiately felt the tell-tale signs of stress creeping upon my body. It was a freezing cold and over-cast day, the surroundings were beautiful but the situation was MAD! (all the names have been changed to protect the innocent). All at once I was amidst pure chaos. I walked around taking random pictures hoping that I might, in the end be able to piece something together that resembled a Christmas card. Each individual animal had its own personality, to say the least, my favorite was the beagle, because she/he was quiet, cooperative and lay-back. The rabbit said little but I am not sure that rabbits utter any sort of sounds so I do not know if this was personality or just plain, the way it is. He/she seemed mellow and introspective as if to say (what the hell?). The cat a beautiful and very fat cat with the biggest blue eyes was in a quandary, he uttered these deep guttural meowing sounds and appropriately clawed into his master's shoulder, so as to say (what the hell?). Dog number one, a small headed, big bodied Chiguagua-mix was the equivalent of someone on methenphetamines, coffee and a large energy drink; he/she was in a frenzy of energy and ugly. She was always in motion, barking her shrill bark with her body moving in every direction and her eyes protruding with each bark. Dog number two was the beagle I mentioned earlier, calm, cooperative and so happy about wearing antlers (seriously, like that is a whole other animal, what the hell?) but she took it well. The third dog, a puppy, black lab (I think), was doing what puppies do, jump, yelp, and basically flutter with joy and energy; she/he posed a big challenge because I could not see where I was going to get it to sit for even one nanosecond at the same time the others would sit still. The horse was full of energy, he/she wanted to go out and trot and eat hay and maybe even whinny, but no, hell no, "I am going to wear a Santa hat, and pose with all these other animals and maybe even be expected to smile" (not enough carrots in the world for this, what the hell?). I have to reiterate, that it was freezing, and all the humans were wearing white thin shirts, a Santa hat and slacks and nothing else. I have to say that aside from the incredible experience, and comedy of events, the matriarch my friend in charge of this ordeal, had tenacity shown by her untiring event of trying to keep hats and antlers on all the creatures; including her family and by keeping her vicious unpredictable tea cup size Chiguagua, from biting the other animals (it did not work, somewhere between shoots she/he managed to grab the horses lip with her little needle sharp teeth and tear a piece of horse lip off). I took several pictures that with her permission I will post on face book, because they do tell the story of chaos and perseverance. I am one damn good photographer and feel lucky to have had this crazy holiday experience; thank you Jane (not her real name). Will I do this again, I will make sure to ask what type of creatures are involved next time. Merry Christmas! (no animals were hurt in the taking of this picture, well, ok, the horse was but not by me).

some family members!

These are just some pictures of my kids. Dylon with fish is Tim's son

At the top is Nataly and Art, her husband

Savannah, Travi's fiancee and Armani my 4 legged grand-son

Travis and his Cat Resin

Chris and his girlfriend Carolyn

Rachel and her husband Paul.

I was trying to think of a title for this post and I just can't seem to come up with one. It has been a while since I have taken the time to post anything, I think it is because I have been busy with my schedule. I changed from nights to evenings and I was hating that, so I had the opportunity to change from evenings to days and I am not too happy about that either which leads me to believe that I am just not happy. I know that I am ready for a change in jobs but for some reason I have not been able to get a different job, so that leads me to believe that the right thing will come about when I am really more receptive. I am taking a class in public health, it is quite interesting and has opened some doors or at least it has shown me some closed doors and I am thinking of opening them to see inside. I am getting together with our local director of public health to see if I can volunteer or maybe even get a job in this department. I would very much like to be part of my community by finding out what ails it and if there is a way I can help the people in it. I know that as a job, public health does not really pay well, but maybe a part-time job or even just volunteer some time might be good. I still have not started my big project for my Masters, I have just not been in the right mood, but I really have to consider starting since procrastinating in this area would be a bad thing, hmmmm...well I am thinking and I will make a commitment to set some times to start; this week. Tim is out of a job, that does not help my mood, since any little bit of money helps, but I guess I just have to let it be, it is not for the lack of his trying. Nataly is 33 years old as of yesterday, so happy to see my girl growing up, I wish her the best because aside from being my baby girl; she is awesome.

The boys seem to be doing fine, Travis is engaged, that makes me very happy. Chris is just working hard on his comedy and Rachel got married in September; it was a great wedding, in the rain. The dogs are just dogs, I hate my cats, they drive me nuts and my froggie just keeps on trucking. OK, sun is out, I must go and take a long walk in the fresh air. I am stewing because I just got paid and even though I was able to catch up with my mortgage payment; it left me penniless and I mean, nada, maybe 25 dollars to play with, shit! But my bills are paid and that does make me feel like I am working for something; not sure what but something.

The picture was taken on Sunset Beach, Tim and I were out for a walk, and I saw these men ocean fishing, so serene to watch them; I just love it.

angry horses

Why is it that Merry-Go-Round horses look so angry? has anyone ever wondered that? Their job is seemingly easy, they get to go around in circles while happy beautiful children ride on them....I mean, its not like they are a scary ride with the intent to scare the shit out of little kids, they are not the fast ride that causes all to up-chuck their cotton candy and ice-cream...They certainly are not the ride that turns you upside down and threatens your life, so then why the hostile faces? Surely it must get a little boring going round and round and round, but much of the time they are just sitting there. It seems as if they were frozen in a moment where there was much angst in their lives, but what? I don't mean to propose that I know the lives of Carousal horses, I do not know where they hang out on their off season but I can't imagine it to be any worse than hanging out in the ER, and you don't see us ER staff walking around with this face....no you don't so shut up.....we might look frustrated, because we are...we deal with lots of idiots. We might look tense, after all we are responsible for saving bodies, but you don't see anyone looking this intense while at work...what up horsies? talk to me....

This picture taken at the Clatsop County Fair...

Death

Death is just something that seems so scary, we all know we are going to die but few of us are willing to face it when it nears. You would think that we would be happy to escort a loved one to that final road yet we find it so difficult and painful, can't we just live with the beautiful memories when our loved one is gone? I am talking about someone that knows they are dying and have the time to clean house and say good-bye. My husband's step dad has a very short time to live and we are experiencing the hospice way of escorting someone you love, out on to their final destination........It is amazing and strange to participate in this journey. I will miss him very much because he has been a gentleman, soft spoken, witty and kind but I have fond moments that I will be able to resurface when I miss him and want to feel him near me! So to you wonderful man, I dedicate this saxophone tune, make it what ever song you want and may your journey be peaceful....I simply do not know what else to say!

I took this photo at the Sunday Market in Astoria Oregon...

Fasssssssssssst Foooooooooooood!

I am a full blooded American and would feel a certain disloyalty to my country if I denied allegiance to the fast-food industry; simply said, I love all fast food, Yes, there have been studies that fast food fed to monkeys, causes them to gain weight due to the trans-fat commonly found in fast food, but I do not McCare, monkeys should be eating bananas not hamburgers. I even heard or read somewhere that some people are suing certain fast-food restaurants such as McDonalds and Wendy’s, for making them fat, again I do not McCare, anything eaten in careless abandon is going to promote a few extra pounds. Fast-food restaurants provide quick service, good prices and delicious food, fast-food restaurants are a fixture in American culture, they give us the “Happy Meal” with a surprise toy and provide us with drumsticks that are finger-licking-good and fast-food comes in different flavors and textures, thick or thin crust. Who can resist the smiling face of a red-haired clown or the cute accent of a chihuahua or the handsome face of the Kernel that share our home through our wide screen televisions, day after day, luring us out of our “couch potato coma” to run out and purchase our daily intake. Critics say that the fast-food industry has caused ill effects on American life; I say that allegation is McCrazy, how can any meal claiming to be happy, cause ill effects? Fast-food restaurants are a Suburbia legend strategically placing themselves in busy places such as, highways, malls and other convenient easy access areas. Another plus to eating fast food; you can do it in the comfort of your cozy pink flying-pig pajamas, because with fast-food comes the comfort of the, drive-through service,and eventually you even manage to learn to love the math illiterate employees with their greasy skin and bad acne and after a few drive-thrus you learn to decipher the bad cutting out words on the microphone while you place your order;it actually becomes a second language. Fast-food restaurants offer the busy consumer a quick meal on their way home from work, school, or the gym they offer to sate your appetite on the way to the opera or on the way to pick up the dog from the groomers. The variety of fast-food available is only limited by your imagination your appetite and how much time you have, to eat. I love fast-food and all that it has to offer, excuse me, “yes, I would like a hamburger with pickles and mayo, hold the lettuce, a large fry and a strawberry malt.” Not that what you order matters since getting what you order is not always an option, but isn't that what Americans thrive on, the element of surprise? Ahh, but that will not deter me from eating at my favorite fast-food restaurants, no siree.

talk while having sex...........shhhhhhhhhh!

And I do not mean, pillow talk...So I was at a local bar having a glass of wine and reading the paper, there were three men sitting at the bar as well, sharing a pitcher of beer, their conversation had to do with women that talk while having sex, I couldn't help but listen. So I thought hmmmm! I guess it really depends on what the conversation is about, right? I think that for the most part talking while having sex is pretty limited probably instructional, such as: put it here, kiss this, don't do that!
I think it is safe to say that it at times is a reaction to what you might be feeling at that particular moment, am I right, such as when you scream out "oh god" or his/her name if you remember it, and here is where it can get dicey, this comes from experience, if you are not sure about his/her name, stick to some simple term of endearment otherwise if you say the wrong name, I gurantee you the conversation can get ugly; some people are so sensitive! Otherwise what else are you saying while having sex, I would like to think that you are not discussing the news of the day, or what happened at work, or even the latest fashion, I mean at least for me, I really am not in a position to think, much less utter any words that make sense, besides some positions are not conducive to talking, if you know what I mean! What was the beef with these guys, you ask?, they were talking about how distracting it was, I didn't say it, but what I wanted to say to all of them is this, look at it as a great conversation piece!...................

This picture was taken at the Tuna Classics in Ilwaco Washington, all the boats were racing in to get in on time....a grate scene!

a mermaids tail............

Is that what this is? hmmmmm? if it is it certainly is not very colorful. I expect a mermaids tail to be sort of like a pea cock's tail, beautiful and colorful...I believe this is a tuna fish's posterior, no, I am sure it is because I took this picture at the Tuna Classics in Ilwaco Washington. I had fun because I always have fun when I am around boats, this is why I believe that I was once a mermaid, I have an affinity to boats and the ocean!

My sign is a crab, so I probably am more closer to having been a crab than a mermaid, I have sudden outbursts of crabby behavior much to my and everyone around me, dismay. Today is a little bit of a crabby day, I posted my homework, which my the way, was very confusing. I still have not taken my final test to finish my class, it is almost as if once I finish, I will feel so empty......tsk! tsk!

I am feeling tunalicious, so I am going for a walk all the way to the Ships, OMG, I can never remember this bar's name, oh yea, the shipyard! I feel like a glass of wine and maybe a salad!

I wonder what being cooped up in your attic in front of the computer for hours on end, does to your personality? It has to have some deleterious effect.....

Stress.................

I am feeling the pressure, I have a big final to take on Friday, but I work Thursday night and then again Friday morning........

I have started my practicum class yesterday and I really feel a challange coming on. I still do not have mentor that is required from this class and I still do not know how I am going to approach this project............!!!! I have to get a B, to Pass this class, I am so nauseaus.........(I don't think that is a word) but I know it is a feeling at the pit of my stomach that promises to deliver all contents out into the world! yuk!

So this picture was taken on my way to the Rogue bar, it was a wonderful summer day with the sunshine bright and warm, and a cool breeze in the air.........Looking at this picture helps with some of the pent up anxiety I am feeling........Off to work.........!

The G-spot! is it real? where is it located?............

That's right folks, is this so called G spot like the

abominable snowman? just a mythical creature? According to Wikipedia and you know how reliable Wiki is, the G spot was coined by Addiego et al. in 1981,[14] after the German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg,[15] even given his study was dedicated to urethral stimulation and not internal vaginal wall stimulation. Wiki also states that stimulation of the G spot gives women even better orgasms then stimulating the clitoris....yahoo! is that possible?

The only problem is that there seems to be some controversy over where this G spot is located....so like the abominable snowman, the G spot remains a mythical creature running rampant, in this case, somewhere within a woman's body. I do know that women are always in search of this creature, I mean, after all, stimulation of this spot can give you intense orgasms, then surely we must find it. Good news to all women, there is a vibrator called the G spot vibrator that claims it will stimulate the G spot due to the way it is made.....really! I think it is fair to say that any place on your body that you stimulate with a vibrator is going to bring intense amount of pleasure...However I did purchase one of these vibrators, all in the name of research, and true that! I have received much pleasure using it but I have to say that it was not the instrument that helped me find the "G Spot", in fact it was a simple drive up the Coast that was my guide to this delicious spot. I think that I can say with great certainty that I have found it! yea, noway am I going to share where I found it but I will show you the picture as prove that it exists and it is not just a mythical creature.....And yes orgasms are more intense when this G spot is stimulated! Good luck to all of you searching, don't give up! it is worth the search.

This picture was taken, oooops! I almost spilled the beans!

Crab Linguini........

Today for lunch I had crab linguine from Astoria's Uniontown custom catering and Deli....

OK this was not linguine with the essence of crab, or with microscopic fibers of crab or trust me, there is crab in there...No sirree, this was linguine with huge chunks of the most delicious crab on this earth......Go Debbie......!

I worked the last 3 days and I have to say it was pure hell! The good thing is that I actually saw sick people as oppose to the usual circus crowd that come in for inane emergent reasons...

Today I am just in a real blah, mood. I am starting to wonder what I am going to do with myself when I am done with school, obviously I am hoping to change jobs, I am actually trying to do that now but for some reason it is just not happening..............ok..........I am sighing.......I have a big test I have to do and I just don't feel like it........but I have too because then I will only have two more units and I will be done with this legal class, yippee!

I know I said I would not ever take another class while I am still in school for my Masters, but here I go again...I am scared of being too bored.......sooooo I am going to sign up for a "coding class", what the hell is that? well a class to learn how to code diagnoses as is required by law in order for doctors to get paid by Medicare and Medicaid. This is something good to know for my future goals as a manger........But first I have to pay the 2 thousand dollars I owe the University of Kaplan, that will take a few months.

I am so having a hard time staying focused today.........I am hungry for a intelligent conversation with someone.......instead I think I will take my test then go for a long walk to see Tim and have lunch........That sounds fabulous! good by!

The picture was taken on my hike at the hatchery, it is a picture of a fox glove plant, which by the way is poisonous! These plants were used by herbalists for medicinal purposes such as to regulate and strengthen the heart.

According to the University of Arkansas Cooperative Extension, "The name foxglove is from the old English name "foxes glofa." It comes from an old myth that foxes must have used the flowers to magically sheath their paws as they stealthily made their nocturnal raids into the poultry yards of rural folk. The association is natural for the foxgloves grew on the wooded hillside slopes that foxes chose for their dens."

ER Story: I once took care of two kids that ate the "nectar" as they put it, of these plants. They had to have blood tests and spend several hours hooked up to the cardiac monitor as well as eat ice cream with charcoal to make sure they were going to be OK!

Wise Message: if you have little ones, get rid of any fox glove plants.........!

hmmmmmmmm...what to do?

OK, I have so much homework but I really do not want to do it!
I have 4 more units and I will then be done with my legal nursing class...can't believe it has been a year since I started this class.......Now I have to create a website or a folder with legal information that will benefit my co-workers! yikes!
I love law but I have to say that it is difficult to understand all the legal jibberish all the concepts...... and I thought medicine was hard!
I could just get up and walk to town and get a cup of coffee and maybe eat at the hippy-dippy place, they have the best organic and yuppy food...
I can eat another yogurt and do my homework! eeeew! I can sit and read my magazine, Dr Phil has some kind of philisophical advice for someone; that is always fun. I can take a nap but I am so not sleepy.....I can do my homework.......I can text my sister.......God! what the hell? hmmmm.......I think I will do one unit and take the quiz.......ethics....I love ethics.....I can do this......OK......thats it........I will do some homework then I will walk to town........I love it when I have a plan.......I wish the sun was out.......

Where does this path lead too?

Often when I am on a hike and I come across a path such as this, I fantasize about where it may lead too.....maybe there will be a pristine pond with crystal clear calm water, where I will sit and have my lunch and just relax. If I am in the part of my hike where I have walked a long way and I am wondering what possessed me to go on a 7 mile hike, I hope that this path, miraculously leads to the parking lot where my car is, ha!........maybe the path leads to a field of lavender; I love lavender, smells so good, makes you feel so good. Then there are times when I want it to lead to a Starbucks so I can have a latte, no flavor please. Sometimes I imagine that it leads to the garden of Eden, with fruit trees, little ponds with bright orange fish swimming around in it, a carpet of flowers emitting delicious aromas, books littering the garden, wine, sourdough bread and lobster on a table at the end of the garden!.....Most of the time it leads to just another path bringing me back to reality, and reality is usually my aching feet, thirst, scratching my mosquito ridden body and the cursing that goes with that same thought, who's idea was this?....But as in all of the hikes, there is always a summit with an incredible view......and this, my friends is why I do this.....The view usually takes your breath away and takes all your pains away with it........

I took this picture in Knappa Oregon at the hatchery. The hike was 5 miles round trip and to be honest it is the only hike that did not have a summit, it just led to a private forested area.
The hike afforded us (Tim and I), great views of some small waterfalls, beautiful trees and wild flowers, but there was little satisfaction at the end of the trail......and I got my shoes all muddy, but those are the sacrifices you take when you hike!

llife pleasures and how to find them.....

I was reading an article on ways to find more pleasure every day and I got into this mind set and wondered if I was being pleased everyday....I suppose it has to do with what it is that pleases you...The article points out that pleasure is purely an instinctive reaction with a brief life span of 30 seconds ( I assume, such as an orgasm) and this is purely my thought, or up to an hour or two, tops. The article also claims that pleasure is fairly easy to come by (Paul Bloom). After reading the article I had to agree with Paul Bloom, pleasures are easy to come by and they do have a short life span, but they have a way to rejuvenate your spirit. He points out that one of life's pleasures is listening to your favorite song over and over, yes I agree 100 percent because I can listen to "Caress me down" by Sublime, over and over and each time it plays I become more pleased. Another of lives pleasure's according to this author is, petting your dog, any dog, he says, something about physical contact with animals that make the brain's pleasure chemicals go bonkers while the stress chemicals leaveyour body, I guess I agree with this but I get more pleasure is blaming my dogs for everything. It is their fault I am tired, because I have to get up and let them out to pee a be-gillion times a day. I blame them for the so difficult homework I have to do, because they just lay there and get fed and taken care of and do not have to worry about a degree to be top dog, while I toil through umpteen pages of homework to get a degree. I blame them for being fat, yes it is their fault, because they can eat anything, and be happy and not gain weight. I wish I could express such happiness and wag my ass when I see a bone coming my way, oh wait, ha! I do. Regardless, I get great pleasure in transferring all that ails me; to my dogs.

But really, I do have some kind of pleasure on a daily bases, I love when I finish a school project, and that is on a daily bases. I love drinking my new found pear martinis. I love looking through Zappos at all the great shoes, I love getting into bed when I am so tired, I love the sound of the fog horn coming from the river, I love the sound of seagulls, I love taking a great picture, I love watching comedy and I love, love, love spending time alone. I think I am basically happy, which by the way according to Paul Bloom, is a prolonged state of being, influenced by a variety of factors, such as the daily pleasure mentioned above. I wish that orgasms fit in the happy category, you know, a prolonged state of being.........ha!

The picture is that of my Poppies! does this picture make me happy, or just give me pleasure; hmmmmm, something to ponder! what say you?

I want my cake and I want to eat it!

What is up with that saying? you want your cake and you want to eat too!

Well, yea, if it is my cake I want a piece, duh! So what is wrong with that, I am selfish, I want what Iwant and if I can have it; I will and I will not feel bad about it.

I was laying in bed thinking about that saying because someone recently said that to me when I said something about wanting something..... I thought about it and I decided that there is nothing wrong with wanting.....It is true that you might not get a piece of your cake, but it is not going to be for lack of trying...

Especially if that cake is your favorite kind, hmmmm!

It is sunny today and seemingly warm, I have to work and I suspect because the weather is so nice, that there will be people out there playing in the sunshine and they will get hurt, oh well, job security!

I am in the last unit of my legal nurse consulting class, that I am taking; I can't believe it has been a year ago next month that I started this class. It has been one of the most challanging classes I have ever taken, all the legal mumbo jumbo is mind boggling. I will then have to study for my certification and that is going to take some doing. I am on a break from my Masters program, it has been nice but I am ready to start soon, I can't afford to take too much time, I want to be done with it, I can't say that it has not been nice not worrying about homework deadlines. I made a big mistake in my last class on finance, I was getting an A, easy peasy, then I realized that I had missed an assignment. I totally panicked, it was the week my son came to visit and I did the assignment early, so that I could spend time with him free of homework, well I did not post it. I can't post too early so I just decided to wait until the time I had to post it since it was done, well I forgot and did not discover this for three weeks. I died. I totally died. I was at work looking at my grade and I noticed that I had a C and could not understand why, since all my papers were A's, so I started to look in all my folders and found that I was missing an assignment. I called Tim and had him get on the computer to find this assignment for me, well that my friends is a story to be told, Tim and computers should never meet, ever. It took 3 hours to talk him through it, something that should have taken maybe, 10 minutes. I was all worked up, and had him so upset that I just told him to forget it. I came home at three am and looked for my paper and found it, never posted it, I got a C+ in my class, so fricking upsetting. Not that grades are so important but I have gotten an A in the last four classes so I was having fun challanging myself to continue this pattern; so naturally it upset me. Oh well, I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too!

This picture was taken in one of my many hikes. It is my favorite thing to do, look up and the canopy of trees and take a picture.

The emergency room is not a fast food joint! OMG!

That is right folks, the emergency room is where trained personnel work as a team to try and get you well, maybe even save your life....what a concept...one that eludes most people that visit the emergency room with their non-emergent issues. Grant it, sometimes we think we have an emergency so of course we go to the emergency room to have this seemingly emergent issue addressed after all where else can we go and expose ourselves to complete strangers to show them our oozing sores? I get it, it happens but to come in because, you have had a cold for 2 days, a sore on your toe for a week, a bug bite, an early/late period, a fussy kid, I can go on forever with these inane reasons that people visit the ER, but it only gives me a headache and then, I will have to go in to the emergency room. Why can't people think for themselves, and troubleshoot and ache or a sore? At the very least if you are going to come in for your real stupid non-emergency, at least know that you will not be rushed in since there are probably some real emergencies in progress and they are considered priorities in the ER, this folks, is why we have TRIAGE. Do not expect to be taken seriously, do not expect validation for your stupid problem, do not expect the nurse to smile and make small talk with you, because inside the nurse is seething, the nurse wants to hit you over the head with a , sphygmomanometer, wrap the blood pressue cuff around your neck, and stick you with a needle in the eye, hey! now we have an emergency, imagine that! If you are so clueless as to what an emergency room should be used for, google it! learn, become informed.
In all fairness, if you do finally decide that the pain in your left arm or rash on you buttocks which has been plaguing you for a year, is an emergency, then at least come in and know certain important things about yourself, you know, important things such as, what you are allergic too, what medications you take when and why you take them, know your doctors name, when you last ate, pooped and had a tetanus shot! take responsibility for your body and by the way, not all sores are spider bites. A message for those of you that concoct varies complicated but unconvincing plots on ways to get your daily vicodin fix, get a life! We might as well have a drive thru window and hand you your happy meal and an Oscar on your performance!

This picture was taken right near the old bridge in Astoria, it was a beautiful morning with the sun comming through the fog.

pink pills, blue pills, round pills.......

OK folks out there in the world, please be proactive and learn the names of the pills you take; at the very least write them down on a piece of paper and don't leave home with out it. I do not know the names of all the type of medications, out there; no, it does not help if you describe it or tell me what you are taking it for. I realize that the names of medication are comparable to the names of dinosaurs, regardless it is your responsibility to have a list for your caretaker when you come see us. It is mandatory for us to have a list on your chart every single time you come to see us and it is mandatory that we updated each and every time; but we can't do that if you do not give us that information. We should be able to read minds; that would be so nice, but we do not, we also should have a vat for a bladder and 8 arms, but we don't. Why is it so important to have that list, well, many of your medications do not mix, or contradict other medications we might want to give you, we might even put your life in danger if we mix the wrong ones, that should be enough motivation for you to take responsibility over your own health. This message is for you guys out there, old and young, your significant other is not your mother, be responsible for your own medications. If I am talking to those of you that depend on your mother to know the answer to that nagging little question, what medications do you take if any?, unless you are 10 and under, get a grip, you are pathetic. Now I speak to the females, wives, or mothers, stop enabling your men/children; it is sad. There is a point when we are old enough to wipe our own ass, so why can't we be responsible for our health? think about It. And this message is for the scientist, pharmacist, or whom ever is responsible for making up those ridiculously long and difficult names for medications, really? is there some competition out there to see who comes up with the stupidest, longest and most ridiculous names for those little green pills? and if you must, then why two names? Do you really enjoy the fact that nurses and doctors have to spend a (ginormous) amount of time looking up these names to see if they are the same medication? Give us a break, do you know how long it takes us to help a 90 year old patient to the bathroom? what I am saying here, is that we have better things to do with our time then to figure out if cyclobenzapine is the same as flexeril, is it generic? OK, I think I have made my point.

This picture is taken on the Columbia River from the Rogue Brewery, so frickin fabulous!

hot sun

yesterday I had a fabulous day, I went for a walk in town, it was warm most of the time with an occasional game of peek-a-boo between the sun and the clouds. I had intended to get a cup of latte and spend time in the book store, but as usual my plans were foiled and instead I ended up walking along the river walk stopping in several areas to look out at the small boats with very small fishermen. I stood next to a couple that seemed to be in the midst of a romantic interlude, I wanted to see how long it would take them to find a different place for their romantic moves, so mean. They finally left and I had this whole area to myself so I sat on a bench and just soaked in all the sun I could. Tim called me and he suggested we meet for lunch, always a nice invite, so we were to meet at the Maritime Memorial. It was still early when I got there so I read some of the messages on the memorial wall and wondered about the lives these dead souls might have had. I went to a concrete bench and lied down on my back, I passed out for 3o minutes, so strange to wake up and not have a clue where you are. Tim and I met at the Traingle bar for a couple of cold brewskies, nice. We later went to Washington to get Oysters for his boss, that ride is so serene and beautiful. It was a terrific day all in all. Today I stayed in bed and just relaxed for several hours, then I got this sudden energy and felt like going on a hike; we ended up in Knappa, and hiked the trail at the hatchery. It is a beautiful trail, a round trip of 5 miles; soo muggy and warm. We actually were not really prepared for the hike, I was not wearing the proper shoes, my feet hurt as a result. We did have fun. I love to hike. I tried to download the pictures onto my computer but I am having trouble doing it, so I have to try again tomorrow becaue I am just not having much patience tonight. I am tired and am ready for bed. Tomorrow is my birthday, so wierd. I will be at work, so I will celebrate some other day when I am in a better birthday mood. I hate have ugly moods, but sometimes I just do.

sunshine!

There is sunshine today, it comes and goes but when it its out it stays for a long while. I am caught up with my homework so I think I am going to town. I want to go to that bookstore in the middle of town, it is very cozy, they usually have some nice tunes, they serve coffee and other stuff so it smells really good. You get the feeling that you are in someone's cozy kitchen when you are in there. I love books anyway, the smell of them the way they feel, I like reading a chapter or two of an interesting title and traveling to the particular place the story takes me; I can get so lost in there. I do believe that is what I want to do today, get lost in the words of some great author, take in the aroma of the delicious coffee and listen to strangers conversations as they talk about their day, hmmm! that sounds inviting.

I got a call from Legacy Emmanuel, yesterday, it sounds like I might get an interview for the "trauma coordinator" job that I applied for, I think it would be good for me to move down there while I work and visit my home in Astoria a couple days a week, I am getting that itch to move on. Tim does not want to go to the city, no problem, I really do not want to move anyway, but I need some new things to do. I think in the city, I can learn the bus system and travel around, visit some new restaurants, new stores, go to a concert, etc. I do not know why I have this need to move around, I would love to say that I love staying home, and I really do enjoy my home, but I get this crazy itch to move and I feel restless until I do it, so here I go. I have been waiting for the right job, not in a real big hurry because I still have a year in school, but I am bored stiff with my job now; I hate that feeling. I love to work, so if I do not enjoy my work, that is not a good thing. OK, I guess I better go out and take advantage of this little bit of sunshine before it hides back in the angry clouds that are looming in the horizon. It does not look warm out there, however, so I better get me all dressed up in my summer/winter stuff.

I took this picture in my favorite place, Garibaldi. I love boats, they are so serene and beautiful to look at.

lets continue....

I left off with the fact that I had no emergency first aid kit or even a bandaid in an event in which I was hired for 4 days to be the first aid responder and medication distributor....what is wrong with this story so far?

no first aid kit

a dorm with a cot no linens, no towels, no shit!

I have to say that all of the people in this event were quite awesome and it was a very important event for those involved.

I ended up with two large moving boxes full of medications when all was said and done. It really seemed quite easy, all the meds were labeled, most kids would be taking meds in the am and pm, a few at noon and 3 or 4 with an odd presribed medication at 2 and 4 pm. I organized them as best as I could, they were all in plastic baggies so no problem. I asked where I would be keeping these meds in between dispensing, I was informed that they were to be kept by my side at all times. I was to follow the kids around during activities in the event they needed some first aid and I had to keep the medications with me at all times. I was having a problem digesting this new information, the activities, according to my itineray showed that the youths would be all over the campus at different times, I was not going to be able to carry these boxes with me everywhere, the solution came from noone. I pondered this over a few minutes and decided to empty out my roller suitcase and put the medications in that, I am so clever. That idea worked well, but it got tiresome running all over the campus with this huge suitcase, even if it did have wheels, it was humid and hot and my allergies showed their ugly side rendering me a prisoner to my own baggie of medications, which by the way, make me verrrrry sleeeeepy!

It wasn't long before several youths spotted me where ever I was, how could they not I was the lady in blue scrubs with a huge roller suitcase, and required me to render first aid for myriad of little problems. The complaints were not critical enough to call 911, just minor enough, thank god to appease with some good advice, and a kiss on the boo boo.

One kid pointed out that he had seen an automated emergency defibrillator on the wall in the lobby, Yippi! I thought, so if someone has a heart attack, I am set! the only one having a heart attack would be me, and I am sure that the defibrillator is simply and adornment at this college because I doubt anyone is going to even think of it much less know how to use it.

One kid cut himself and came for a bandaid, I knew it, now what, great. I held pressure to his bleeding cut while I thought of what to do next. I walked him intot he bathroom and washed it out and continued to hold pressure, he asked me why I did not have bandaids? hmmmm! well I said, in my clever and authoritative voice, band aids are over raided! they harbor bacteria, it is better to air out your wound after the bleeding stops! I do not really think he believed me but I was the nurse and he was polite, so he went with it. It stopped bleeding, and he went on with his life, later I checked it, it looked great to which he said, hey you were right I can't even tell where it was....ha! I am soooo gooood!

Later a girl injured her ankle while jumping off of some stairs, her friends came running looking for me they were sure she had broken an ankle, well I thought, that would require an ER visit, I am safe. Her ankle looked great, not even swollen, so I had someone run to the cafeteria to get ice, her friends helped her get to my makeshift nurse station, you know, where all the supplies werent, so I can help this hobbled child. I propped her leg up, in front of the door where she could see the others having fun out in a far-away field. I had a plan, knowing that teen-aged girls are a little dramatic, and taking advantage of her vulnerability, I figured she was a bit needy, I told her that her injury was minor and I expected her to be up and walking in less than an hour, she then asked me how I knew this, eeeek! what to say! Well I said, see how when I pinch your toe, it turns white, then when I let go, it quickly turns red? she said, "yes", well, I said, that means your circulation is great (it does mean that), and so your healing will be fast ( little white lie here, some medicinal license at best), she believed me. In less than 10 minutes she wanted to try and see if she could walk, it was a miracle, she not only could walk, she ran to the field, damn, I so goooooood! So that is how it went, I found myself passing medication pretty much all day because these kids all have one thing in common, no sense of time and medication non-compliance, but I was getting paid so what could I do?

Sleeping was not so fun, muggy, no linen, I slept on a cot with nothing but a thin mattress! ahhh poor me!

Why do some things sound good but when you do them they are horrible?

I volunteered to serve as a first aid responder for a certain event, in a certain university in Oregon. The event involves young adults in a time of transition in their lives, and for the record let me just say that any names are ficticious to protect the identities of the real people and places, anyway, I saw an advertisement in my job's website that was recruiting a nurse to go to this event for 3 nights and 4 days to be the first aid responder and to log and dispense medications to these youths; I seized the opportunity!
My thoughts were quite romantic, I would have my own dorm, free meals, get paid for basically just being there, sounded so good. I liked the idea of going to a university and pretending I was a student, you know, mingling with other students, joining them in their meals and activities, how fun, and get paid! seriously! so why did no one jump on this opportunity? hmmmm! always suspect such situations, Iam more the wiser now.
I set out with my bags, my laptop, you know to do myhomework, I bought a couple snacks including sunflower seeds and yogurt. I googled my map and off I went with high spirits and much elan!, I love that word. I immidiately ran into some problems, I spilled a huge bottle of water on my camera and my car seat, was this an omen? oh no!
The google directions were slightly wrong but being the resourceful person that I am, I found the University with an hour to spare.
Once in the university grounds, vast grounds for the sake of this story, I started to panic, it is huge, and many many buildings, I had to find a parking spot and walk to the administration building where I asked for directions to my destination; I must say the girls at the front desk were very helpful and gave me a map with the "you are here" arrow, easy peasy, I thought. Soon I found that although the map was great it did not include the CONSTRUCTION BARRIERS, what up? 30 minutes later after driving in many circles and going in to restricted areas I found the building I wanted, but I had to park far, far, far away, no problem I need and love to walk; I was just happy to find the building with 15 min. to spare, I hate being late. I got there, it was a hot and muggy day, nice people introduce me to everyone, they handed me a ticket to place on my windshield so that they would not tow my car, ok, so here I go for that long walk, and I could not bring my bags because we would be handing out dorms and keys later, I started to feel that i was going to get my badly needed but much procrastinated, workout. Eventually I was in a large room where the guests started to arrive, young exhuberent youths, with incredible energy, dressed in bright yellow shirts displaying their logos, the music started, they were practicing a little welcome dance. I later found out that these young people were the leaders of what would be other young people that were coming to this event, it really looked like it was going to be fun, so I needed to get down to business, chop! chop! after all, I was here to render first aid and by the looks of the moves on the stage, there were going to be some injuries, so I wanted my first aid kit, my location etc.
First aid kit? oh, wow, there is a little problem, I heard coming out of this way-to-bubbly blond leader, noone thought of bringing a first aid kit, NICE! no worries, I will just pull banaids and ice bags out of my ass!. Blondy proceeded to tell me that all I needed to do was to log and dispense the youths medications, I see, so just how many medications can a youth have? and by-the-way, just how many youths are there? wait to I want to know this?
They scurried around looking for a box to put the medications into and a notebook for logging, and to appease me they made a little makeshift nurse station with a pretty poster that said "nurse", so sweet. I had no clue what this entailed and noone would offer any answers, they were too busy doing their part, which by-the-way was much better organized, after all they have been doing this proudly, for eleven years.
I guess, I started to think, this will be easy money, I get my dorm, with my refrigerator, microwave, and get paid to give out medications, hmmm! smells like drug pushing to me, but oh well.
As the youths started to arrive and getting in line to hand be their plethora of medications, I started logging feverishly, I started to realize why the job assignment was opened for a long time, here I was in my little nurses station with two huge moving boxes, a pen and a little worpt binder, writing names of drugs, how many, how often, etc. Frankly, if you need to take so many happy pills, and you are this young, something is terribly wrong. My thoughts started to wonder, what if they do not take their happy pills, what happens then? the word postal came to mind, but I was digressing, so I took a deep breath and just got to the task.
This will be continued for it only gets dramatically better and I am going to have to retire to my cot, "cot" being the operative word here, with my no linens because they failed to tell me that I needed to bring my own sheets, towels etc. I have gone on many hikes and I have had more linen and furniture on my backpacking trips than I have now, but that is a subject yet to be explored......

Are there stupid questions?

Yes there are, I am so sick of well-doers telling people that there are no stupid questions, because there are and they are time consuming, distracting and frustrating for those of us that know the answers. Yea, OK here is an example of a SQ, I give a patient a gown as I put him/her in a room, the complaint is a rash on the chest, stupid question? "do I put this on?", really? I want to say something along the lines of: no, I just gave it to you in case you want to play dress up..., no, what would make you think that?..., no, let the doctor undress you...no, I just hand out gowns as door prizes, its yours take it home...Seriously! Yes I am cynical but how can that be preventable? stop asking stupid questions! That is all I have to say on this subject.

This is a picture of my new haircut, not too good but you can tell that it is pretty short...who cares? yea no S____!

Again I sit in front of my computer doing home work and try to figure out how it is that any school of higher education, can think that anyone person has time for so much reading, research, and homework? I work full-time, and perform other daily tasks on my activities of daily living (ADLs). I have to sleep, eat, entertain myself (and that in itself includes a myriad of things), tend to my animals, my SO, and my home. I have to do certain chores and go to the dentist,(I have an appointment today which will take approximately 2 hours between getting there, being there and getting back). Today the one of the community bars has beer for two dollars, all day, I have to go for at least 2 hours, and that will render me incapable of doing much else. What I am saying, is that we need to cut down on these school requirements!

Finance

I just started a new class on finance, not so happy, too many terms that make no sense, account payable, account receivable, assets, goodwill, tangible and intangible, owners equity, partners equity, liabilities OMG!

I should have stuck with pursuing ballett!
I wanted to be a ballerina and istead I got into nursing, what up? where is the connection there? It all started when I opened a medical book that belonged to my neighbor, I fell in love with the stethescope, and body parts, and veins and those pictures of muscles and bones, ahhhh!

I then decided to pursue other degrees, BSN, MSN, MHA, LNC alphabet soup has never been so life consuming and difficult. I think that if I make it through finance It should all be down hill from there.

I need to just focus on a balance sheet I am sure that somewhere in there it will all make sense.

I am looking out my attic window and I see one little boat speeding on by, wonder where he is going, what type of people are on board? hmmm!

I go to work tonight, not so happy, since I hate my job, but I guess at least I have a job; somehow that is not so comforting. I am just not in the mood for dealing with the infirm. I rather sit and study so I can get through this course. I think I have been in front of this computer way too long, I am starting to not make any sense.

Addendum: Written on March 12, 2012 at 1:14 am, so I thought that finance was going to be the hardest class, well how wrong can a person be?, very!
The last academic class I had to take for my Masters degree was a class in which I was to write a research utilization proposal, to add to the drama you had to get a B or better to pass and you could not take it over if you did not pass. I have gotten pretty good grades, many As and Bs, so I would not have even thought about getting a least a B, it it were not for the threat that I had to pass or I was going to fail the whole program. Now let me tell you that I really did not appreciate having this threat looming over me, you are talking about many, many hours of research and computer reports and stress over limited time to finish homework and many wasted days without your family, friends, pets and many days when you missed fun activites because you were too busy slaving over your homework, now you are going to tell me that it could all have been in vain? oh hell no!!!!!
The stress was truly insurmountable, it rendered me in a state of "coo coo". I had nightmares, I had palpitations, the class was interesting but difficult and all consuming, yes I endured 6 weeks of pure hell!!!!
I just did not know how to function without constant worry about this ridiculous class!
I passed with a B+, but I was sick the whole time and developed these headaches and neck pains from the stress.

Now I have a single project to turn in that I started months ago, and I will be done with school forever. I never want this experience again! we shall see about that!

express line!

I was driving to work, on time, in fact I have to say that I was early because I am always early to work and today I wanted to stop at the super market for some fruit, yogurt and some coffee, yea you know, a latte plain and simple. I had plenty of time so I walked around the store for a while, picked out my items; 3 to be exact then realized that it was getting a little late and should probably check out and get to work; early! I went to the "express line," line, only two people in front of me, and surprisingly they both had less than 10 items. Now, to me, the assumption is that the reason for this line is to create a speedy line for those with a few items and maybe even for those that just want to get out in hurry; I mean, who wants to stand in line with a carton of milk, behind someone that is doing their monthly grocery shopping, right? It turns out that "The express line", can me badly misinterpreted, or maybe just ignored because It took me 45 minutes to get through the line and I was not early to work, I was not even on time. The first in the line was an elderly man with a check book, he had an elderly way of moving, yep! hmmm! that is all I am going to say about him, I feel my blood pressure rising as I write these words, B-R-E-A-T-H! OK, so that took a little over 15 minutes but since I was early; no problem. The next lady in line had several coupons, to the wrong items, so they had to, overhead page help to come and get this nice lady the right items that the coupons were for the 80z box not the 12 oz box etc, I stood there trying to decided if I should change lines, but I had invested much time in this line, and the other lines did not look much faster so I committed and stayed. I was feeling the pressure; I was getting into the "I might be late", zone. I finally got out of there with 4 minutes left to drive 15 miles, did I mention I was a slow driver? So what exactly does it mean when they say "express line?" It means, no checks, no coupons, and this is not the get acquainted meet my family, line, people! Some us just want less than ten items and we want to get the hell out of there. Some of us have jobs so please move along and get out of our way.

Motion Sickness

Not the type you get from embarking in a vessel in the middle of the ocean, although that would certainly give me motion sickness, I am referring to the kind that you get when you spend umpteen hours in front of the computer going over the many different types of legal motions in a litigation; yes siree! there is the motion to strike, the motion to compel discovery, the motion for default judgment, the motion for a new trial, the motion to remove, are you getting motion sickness yet? well I have and I need it to stop. I decided to take a year-long course on legal consulting, because my goal in management is to become a Risk Manager so I thought it prudent to become familiar with the law, OMG! I did not realize that I was going to become a lawyer; I am emotionally exhausted!

can you role your Rs?

I am just confused with this craziness of R rolling, is it really in your genes to have that ability? Is it a language acquisition? Is it a lingual ability, because if that is it, I am telling you there are few people in the United States that can do tricks with their tongue. I introduce myself to people simply by shaking hands and stating my name, Marrrrrta, I know by the look of most people that right away they have encountered a problem by having met me, they can't say my name. I really don't care if you role your Rs, Marta, is OK! (rhyme with Farta) but don't hide your lingual deficits by calling me Mirna, Marcia, Marla, or Marty, certainly if you can say the last two you can say Marta; fine just call me Babe! I love spell check, yes, I meant Farta!